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Valentine’s Day: Romance when trying to conceive holisticher

Valentine’s Day: Romance when trying to conceive

Another Valentine’s Day is here – a day of hearts, cupid, and all things lovely, but the pressure to make Valentine’s Day all about sex and romance can sometimes feel daunting.

For couples trying to conceive or struggling with infertility, monitoring ovulation, charting basal body temperatures, and timing intimacy can make it seem like romance has flown out of the window.

It is important for couples to understand they are not alone. Working together equally during the entire process – learning about infertility, supporting each other, and making treatment decisions – will strengthen your relationship.

The good news is that no matter where you are in your infertility journey, there are ways to enjoy Valentine’s Day. Here are some tips for reconnecting with your significant other, to have a stressless day, and perhaps even rekindling a little passion in the process.

Valentine’s Day: Romance when trying to conceive

Take a Break from the Fertility Discussion

Make a pact with your partner to not discuss infertility treatments for the next 48 hours. There’s plenty of time for that later. On Valentine’s Day, shift the topics to things about each other, what attracts you to one another, and what you appreciate about your partner.

Recall Your Most Romantic Moments

What was it that made you fall in love with your partner? What was it that gave you butterflies and made your heart race? Close your eyes and imagine those moments all over again but don’t keep them to yourself, share them with your partner and reminisce about those precious moments together.

Communicate with your partner

It sounds obvious but each person may be experiencing or coping with infertility in a different way. The best gift that you can give each other is to be open to offer support. Remember that behind all of the doctors visits and ultrasounds there is a collective “you” that can easily be overlooked. Infertility can affect both your own and your partner’s self-esteem - see where your partner is truly at and what they need in life.

Compliment each other

Think about how nice it is to receive compliments and make sure to reciprocate. In addition to being open with your partner and supportive, compliment your partner to make sure they feel appreciated. You can share your feelings out loud or even by writing our partner a love note and sealing with a kiss. It may seem a small thing to do, but it is likely to have a big impact.

Get Your Heart Racing

Working out decreases stress, improves health and increases happiness. Go for a walk, swim, hike or bike ride together.

Valentine’s Day: Romance when trying to conceive holisticher

Start a new activity together

Studies show that the more couples invest time in doing fun things together, the happier they are in the long-term. Pick a fun goal that you can work towards together, and focus on achieving it. This can be absolutely anything from a weekly date night, to dance lessons, to cooking together, to training for a sporting goal together.

Get Out of Town

Changing your environment can shift your mental outlook as well as allowing you to leave behind the daily stresses of life, in turn allowing you the head space you need to gain perspective, release stress, and have fun. Take a weekend away to kick back, relax, and focus only on enjoying each moment together.

Be Spontaneous

Have picnic under the stars, go for a stroll under the full moon, hold hands as the sun sets, embrace in the middle of a rain storm.  Create your own romantic moments for free!

Go on a date or a double date

Going on a date is a perfect way to remind yourselves of why you fell in love. Consider returning to the place where you first met. Alternatively, spend some time with another couple - preferably one without children – and spend the evening having fun together.

Pamper yourselves

Treat yourself to a little pampering. What do you love? Book a massage, go to a yoga class, read a good book or go see a movie. Look back to things you enjoyed doing when you first started dating.

Stop comparing to other couples

Put down the smartphone and step away from social media pages. It may look like everyone else is having a sexier more romantic evening than you are but remember that people present idealised versions of themselves on social media which isn’t always accurate. 

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